6 Steps to Organizing an Older Relative’s Move

A two-part series by Lisa Trottier, Caring.com contributing editor. Article provided by Caring.com. Copyright © 2010, Caring.com.

Preparing to move an older relative out of his home

Step 1: Get the whole family on board

Moving an older relative from his family home to a new — and usually smaller — residence is labor intensive for you and emotionally disruptive for him. Tempting though it may be, it’s not a good idea to "surprise" a family member by sorting through his stuff when he’s not around. If you try to make an executive decision about his belongings, chances are, you’re headed for a run-in with him or others in your family.

To help prevent emotional flare-ups and ensure a smooth process, schedule a meeting with the whole family, if possible, to discuss the plan of attack well ahead of the move-out date. (If you can’t get together, do it by phone.) Hash out some guidelines: Under what circumstances will you call each other on "keep or discard" decisions? When will you consult the person who’s moving? What key possessions would you and your other family members like to keep in the family?

Encourage the person who’s moving to actively participate in decisions. For example, adult children often want to throw away old furniture and buy newer, more attractive pieces for their parent’s new home. But the parent should be able to pick what comes with him, says Dollar. "Let them take their own furniture if they want to — they know what will make them most comfortable in their new home, and sentimental value often counts for more than aesthetics."

Step 2: Work slowly when packing up — think months, not days

Your relative’s home is more than just a roof over his head: It’s the place where he feels most comfortable, a museum of his memories and life stories.

Complicating matters, if he lived through the lean Depression years, chances are he’s spent a lifetime saving and collecting. Decades of squirreling away can add up to a house that’s packed floorboard to rafter with stuff. As you begin organizing for a move, keep in mind that seemingly worthless belongings may have huge sentimental value for him, and he’ll need time to sort through his things on his own terms. Try to resist the urge to execute the move as quickly as possible.

"It really needs to be a three- to four-month process. You need to give an older adult time to go through the love letters, the report cards, and the photographs from the Grand Canyon," says Jacqueline Dollar, a geriatric care manager in Des Moines, Iowa. "It’s a wonderful chance to go back and reaffirm the full, productive life that he’s had."

Step 3: Get real about the size of your older relative’s new place

"In almost every case I’ve been involved with, people take more stuff than will fit in their new space," says Gayle Grace, a moving coordinator in Oakland, California. "Many times I’ve been called back in to help do more weeding out after the move."

Avoid this situation by first getting a sense of how much square footage and storage your relative will have in his new home. What he can keep will depend on how much room you have to work with. Getting realistic about space constraints up front — even sitting down with him to sketch out what can go where — will help force some of the harder decisions about what to get rid of.

To find a senior move manager in Indianapolis who will handle make sorting, getting rid of and moving easier visit Aging Avenues.com.

Which sounds better? Let’s go, Dad. We need to get you dressed for day care. Or Hey, Dad let’s get you ready. The guys at the club are waiting!

If your Alzheimer’s afflicted dad is dragging his feet about going to adult day services and you need to get to work, which do you think would be more effective? It’s pretty obvious that the more respectful, dignified question would get the best response.

Whether called adult day services, adult day care, the club or volunteer work,- whatever seems right for the sake of the specific elder – these services have been a well-kept secret for years. Far too many people don’t realize they have this care option.

Just for the record, I try to stay away from the day care term, because there is a certain stigma of childhood that goes with it. I am a proponent of treating elders with dignity – no matter how child like they may have become. So, I prefer the term adult day services. Variable terminology aside, adult day services can be extremely helpful. When an elder is in the earlier stages of Alzheimer’s, probably able to live at home with some care, but at risk for wandering or leaving a stove turned on if left alone for long periods, adult day services can be a life saver, literally.

Many people will try in-home care for awhile. They will hire an agency to bathe and dress the elder, but then what? What does the elder do all day? Day services can be a good option, at least a few days a week, as the elder gets out and is able to socialize with peers.

In cases where one spouse is healthy but can’t care for the other spouse day and night, or when the well spouse just needs time off, day services can be an option. It can also work well if the elder with Alzheimer’s disease lives with adult children. In most homes, both adults must work. Often there are children of varying ages involved, as well. When everyone must go to school or work, who looks after the elder? Day services can fill the gap.

Many adult services have a handicapped accessible bus that will pick up the elder. There should be someone on the bus trained to work with the elder and who can become a familiar face. Other times, you may have to drop the elder off, or maybe that just works better for your elder. Generally there are choices. Day services provide social stimulation for the elder, as well as activities and safety. Many have a nurse on call or on the premises, to administer medications.

By Carol Bradley Bursack

To learn more about Adult Day Services in Indianapolis and to locate the best providers for your loved one visit Aging Avenues.com or call 317-731-3315.

Medical deductions can include dental treatments, the cost of transportation needed to get to a medical appointment, health insurance premiums and qualified long-term care services. For a full list of allowable medical expenses, see Publication 502 (2009) at the IRS web site . Some key rules to remember are -

• You can only deduct medical expenses if they exceed 7.5% of your adjusted gross income.
• To qualify for a dependency deduction, you must pay for more than 50% of your qualifying relative’s support costs. The relative only qualifies as a dependent if he or she meets the gross income and the joint return test. Dependency Deduction   If your relative doesn’t qualify as a dependent because of these tests, you cannot claim a dependency deduction, but you can still claim his or her medical expenses.
• If a group of people are sharing costs for a qualifying relative, a multiple support declaration (IRS Form 2120) can be filed to grant one family member the exemption.
• Long-term care medical expenses including diagnostic, preventive, therapeutic, curing, treating, mitigating, rehabilitative, and maintenance and personal care services are deductible if the services are required by a chronically ill individual and a licensed health care practitioner prescribes the care. An individual is chronically ill if unable to perform at least two of six activities of daily living, which are eating, toileting, transferring, bathing, dressing, and continence. An individual who is cognitively impaired and requires substantial supervision is also considered chronically ill.
• Nursing services performed in a nursing home, an assisted-living facility, or similar care facilities are also deductible expenses if the person is principally receiving care for medical reasons. However, if a person is staying at a nursing home, an assisted-living facility, or similar care facility only for custodial reasons, only medical expenses are deductible; in this instance, room charges and meals are not deductible. Nursing services performed at home are deductible expenses. If the patient is chronically ill, certain maintenance and personal care services are also deductible.

Senior citizens and caregivers should be aware that premiums paid for qualified long-term care insurance contracts are also deductible medical expenses. According to the IRS, the contract must be guaranteed renewable; not provide a cash surrender value; not pay costs that are covered by Medicare; provide that refunds, other than refunds upon death, surrender, or cancellation of the contract, and dividends are used only to reduce future premiums or increase medical benefits.  For 2009, long-term care premiums are deductible up to the following dollar amounts: for individuals age 61 to 70 the limit is $3,180, for individuals 71 and older the limit is $3,980.

Many state governments also offer tax credits and deductions for caregivers on state income tax forms, so it pays to know your individual state’s rules.

By nature, tax rules are complex. It’s important to consult a tax attorney or accountant versed in eldercare tax issues about your specific situation before finalizing your taxes. The AARP also offers free assistance and tax tips for seniors through its Tax-Aide program; go to http://www.aarp.org/money/taxaide/.

A Senior Move Manager is a professional who specializes in assisting older adults and their families with the emotional and physical aspects of relocation and/or “aging in place.” Though many senior move managers have backgrounds in gerontology, social work, health care, nursing and psychology, others come to this industry from the corporate world of project management, technology, accounting or marketing. What all senior move managers share, however, is a profound commitment to connecting with older adults and a desire to perform meaningful work.

Although specific services may, vary, most Senior Move Managers can help with some or all of the following:
• Developing an overall move or “age in place” plan
• Organizing, sorting and downsizing
• Customized floor plans
• Arranging for the profitable disposal of unwanted items through auction, estate sale, buy-out, consignment, donation, or a combination of the above
• Interviewing, scheduling and overseeing movers
• Arranging shipments and storage
• Professional packing
• Unpacking and setting up a new home
• Related services, like: cleaning, waste removal, shopping, senior escort, assistance with selection of a realtor and helping prepare the home to be sold.
One call to a senior move manager can connect you with services older adults and families need for a seamless, successful transition of all kinds.

What are the real benefits of senior move management services?
• Senior move managers have significant expertise in resources and approaches that save money, reduce the emotional and physical stress and produce quality results.
• Services are client-centered and personalized to meet the client’s needs and preferences. Families, particularly, should never doubt the power of an outside expert!
• NASMM (National Association of Senior Move Managers) members are reviewed for insurance and experience requirements prior to acceptance.
• Ongoing educational programs reflect the NASMM commitment to professionalism and to working with older adults.
• NASMM has developed a Code of Ethics and Standards of Practice for all members.

Rita Woll, Senior Move Manager, Yellow Tag Household Sales, http:// www.yellowtaghouseholdsale.com

Why Video Games Aren’t Just For Kids Anymore?

So what exactly are the benefits that grandma and grandpa can get from playing Wii, online games, PlayStation 2 or similar gaming devices? There’s actually a lot more to video gaming than you may actually think.

A good number of studies in the past have shown that playing video games has many positive benefits to senior health. For young people, one of the benefits of playing video games is to sharpen their problem-solving abilities. Video games are even known to improve the skills of a surgeon in the operating table.

Now, to give you an idea about the health benefits that older people will enjoy, take a look at the following list:

1. According to the Psychology and Aging magazine, playing complex video games after receiving training may improve the cognitive functions of seniors. This is one the functions which typically decline with age.

2.  Aside from improving their cognitive functions, video games which require seniors to juggle multiple tasks may also improve their ability to perform some other everyday tasks in the ‘real world’.

3.  Researches done in the past also indicated that video games such as the ones provided by Nintendo and Wii can be successfully used to doctor seniors with Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease and other illnesses of a psychological or psychosocial nature.

4. Preliminary studies have shown that strategy video games may help older adults in keeping their brains razor sharp.

Since you will be playing with the aid of a joystick, video games can help improve your eye-hand coordination.
To sum it all up, what video games do is keep an aging brain young – which is why they bring forth a multitude of benefits for a senior’s overall health. And with the introduction of Wii fitness-themed games, who says that they can’t enjoy the physical benefits of video games as well?

Top 10 Video Games to Improve Senior Health

After learning about the benefits of using video games to improve senior health, which games should you borrow from your grand kids? Here are the top 10 video games which help improve senior health:

1.   Brain Age and Brain Age2

This is a video game developed by Nintendo DS, which has already spawned a sequel: Brain Age2. Both the original and the sequel video games are inspired by the work of Japanese neuroscientist Dr. Ryuta Kawashima.  Basically, what the Brain Age video game will assist you with is stimulating your brain by giving it the workout that it needs with activities like solving simple math problems, currency counting, drawing pictures or unscrambling letters.  As indicated in their website, the activities in the Brain Age2 video game will increase the blood flow to your prefrontal cortex. [Poor Blood Circulation]

2. BrainBashers.com

BrainBashers.com is actually a website which was started in 1997 by Kevin Stone, BSC. The site has a great collection of logic game, brain teasers, riddles, puzzles, games and optical illusions.  The good thing about BrainBashers is that five new puzzles are added every other week, so you will have some new brain-exerciser games to look forward to. [Brain Strengthening Exercises]  The benefit of visiting sites like these is that your mental acuity will be sharpened because of the sheer number of activities that your brain can be engaged in.

3.  Wii Golf

If, for one reason or another, you have decided to quit playing golf – you can still have a go at it with the help of a video game like the Nintendo Wii Golf.  You can enjoy it as part of the Wii Sports collection which includes a series of five sports simulations: tennis, baseball, golf, bowling and boxing. So, how exactly will the Wii Golf help seniors have a pretty good workout – with the help of a video game console? [Balance Exercises For Seniors]  The Wii Remote is the key. What it does is mimic the actions performed in real life sports.  Let’s say that you have swung the Wii Remote which you will be using as a golf club, its mechanism will detect how strong or how gentle your golf swing is, and the results will be seen on the screen.

4.  Dancing with the Stars

Whether or not you’re a fan of the show that the video game is based on, you will have a blast playing the “Dancing with the Stars” video game. Released in October 2007, the game has PC and online versions, and is also available in Wii, PC, mobile and PlayStation 2 platforms.  If you will get the PlayStation 2 or Wii formats of the game, that is when you will have the best time exercising because it comes with the dance pad. Basically, you will enjoy a physical workout while playing a video game at the same time.

5.  Tetris

Whether it’s a game installed on your mobile phone, your computer or a gaming console, the classic blocks game of Tetris will provide a lot of benefits for you as a senior.  When you use the arrow keys on your keyboard to play the game and you’re at an advanced level, your quick thinking skills will be sharpened. Hand-eye coordination and logical thinking are the other benefits that you will get from playing this game.

6.   NASCAR 09

Bring out the risk-taking race car driver in you with the NASCAR 09 video game. It comes in the following formats: PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. If you’re not into race car driving, you can try the other driving and flying video games, which will keep your wits razor sharp.

7.   Guild Wars

This PC game is available in Windows format only, and is developed by ArenaNet. It’s an episodic series of role-playing games on multiplayer online mode.

Guild Wars is in fact popular with both the younger and the older crowd – so you’ll have plenty of youthfulness to keep you company while the game sharpens your wits at the same time.

8.   Pogo.com

If there’s one online video gaming site that is popular with the over-40 crowd, that is none other than Pogo.com. The site is suitable for seniors who are not really into racing, war games or strategic games.

Pogo.com includes a wide array of puzzle games, word games, card games, board games, arcade and sports games that will keep you spending as much hours as your grand kid is spending on the Internet.

9.   Scrabble

Another classic game that will keep your brain razor sharp is scrabble. You can even go one step further and use the fun game to connect with your friends and family – no matter which part of the world they live in.

You can have a game with two to four players, and receive notifications on your e-mail if it is your turn to play.

10.  Grandparent Games

To cap off our list, there’s the aptly named Grandparent Games which allows seniors to connect with their grandchildren through interactive games. If you want to connect with your children’s kids while exercising your brain at the same time, you get free access to the service for 7 days.  There’s a minimal fee to continue, but if you like playing the games, it is definitely worth it.

There you have it – our top 10 list of the best video games that will allow seniors to exercise their brains, their bodies and improve their eye-hand coordination. Whoever said that video games are a waste of time and are only meant for lazy kids and adults, can never be more wrong.
http://scrabble-in-blogosphere.blogspot.com/

My Heart Life    http://www.myheartlife.org/

Nursing homes should provide environments that are more like home and give residents choices regarding their care, according to new guidance issued by the U.S. Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services. Nursing home surveys will be conducted with a sharpened focus on resident rights in areas such as ensuring they live with dignity; offering choices in care and services; and creating a more homelike environment.

“These groundbreaking revisions matter in the daily lives of people who live in the nation’s long-term care facilities,” said CMS Acting Administrator Charlene Frizzera. “The improvements in the guidance are intended to support efforts under way to transform nursing homes into environments that are more like their homes through both environmental changes and resident-centered care giving.”

The proposals include a call to “de-institutionalize” physical environments by doing away with things such as meals served on institutional trays, noise from overhead paging systems and large nursing stations. They also note that residents have the right to choices concerning their routines, including scheduling waking, bathing, mealtimes and bedtimes.

“Many facilities cannot immediately make these types of changes, but it should be a goal for all facilities that have not yet made these types of changes to work toward them,” the guidance notes.

It’s a start to helping seniors living in nursing homes be treated like the independent people they have always been.

To learn more – http://www.cms.hhs.gov/transmittals/downloads/R48SOMA.pdf

Over the years, several safeguards have been put into place. One of those safeguards is the requirement that all reverse mortgage applicants go through counseling. The reverse mortgage (called a HECM Home Equity Conversion Mortgage) is an FHA or government insured loan. FHA wants the counseling to be done through a third party agent who has no financial ties to that loan. While this may seem a bit paternalistic, it’s a really good idea. This gives the senior another opportunity to ask questions and to hear about how the loan works. In many cases, the senior can bring their adult children or other financial adviser to their counseling appointment. It’s important that seniors also look at any options they may have and counselors assist in that process. The counseling takes about 45 min to an hour and in most cases it is be done over the phone. Some counseling can be done in person as well. As of August 2008, Counseling Agencies may now charge for their services. There are, however, some agencies who can waive their fee ($125) for seniors who are financially unable to pay. Always ask your counselor about this option. Once the counseling is done, the senior will receive a certificate of completion and this certificate is required before the lender can order an appraisal on the property.

Another safeguard, is the mortgage insurance premium (MIP). While this insurance is added to the costs of the loan, it’s invaluable in protecting seniors and their families. This insurance means that the senior can never owe more than the property is worth. If that were to happen, the lender would simply make a claim against that insurance for any loss and the lender would never go after the senior or their heirs for that difference. This means that the senior will not ever leave a debt for their family. This is very important to the majority of reverse mortgage customers.

A third safeguard is the maximum age. The original reverse mortgages stopped at age 100 but today, the reverse mortgage is good until age 125 or until the senior permanently vacates the property (after one year), whichever comes first. We haven’t had any seniors reach 125 yet!

A more recent addition to the reverse mortgage program is the addition of fixed rate reverse mortgage products. In the past, all reverse mortgages were adjustable rate loans. Fixed rate loans today, provide the customer with the maximum amount of loan when compared to the adjustable loan. This can change as interest rates go up and down but currently, the fixed rate does afford the maximum proceeds from the loan amount. While adjustable rate loans may still be viable for some seniors, it’s nice to have the option to choose from. If you still have questions about the safeguards available with the reverse mortgages today, talk to your reverse mortgage specialist. He or she will be happy to fill you in on all the details of this wonderful product.
Brenda Wheeler, Reverse Mortgage Specialist, M & I Bank Indianapolis
To learn more about this and other senior care funding options go to www.agingavenues.com or call 317-731-3315.