Though the family was disappointed over the cake, of more concern was Grandma’s confusion with the recipe and her similar confusion about the loved ones around her. Could something be wrong with grandma’s mental state?

One might say that for an elder person a little forgetfulness or confusion is normal, but when do you know if there is a serious problem, such as dementia?

An online article from FamilyDoctor.org outlines some common symptoms in recognizing dementia.

“Dementia causes many problems for the person who has it and for the person’s family. Many of the problems are caused by memory loss. Some common symptoms of dementia are listed below. Not everyone who has dementia will experience all of these symptoms.

• Recent memory loss. All of us forget things for a while and then remember them later. People who have dementia often forget things, but they never remember them. They might ask you the same question over and over, each time forgetting that you’ve already given them the answer. They won’t even remember that they already asked the question.
• Difficulty performing familiar tasks. People who have dementia might cook a meal but forget to serve it. They might even forget that they cooked it.
  Problems with language. People who have dementia may forget simple words or use the wrong words. This makes it hard to understand what they want.
• Time and place disorientation. People who have dementia may get lost on their own street. They may forget how they got to a certain place and how to get back home.
  Poor judgment. Even a person who doesn’t have dementia might get distracted. But people who have dementia can forget simple things, like forgetting to put on a coat before going out in cold weather. 
• Problems with abstract thinking. Anybody might have trouble balancing a checkbook, but people who have dementia may forget what the numbers are and what has to be done with them.
• Misplacing things. People who have dementia may put things in the wrong places. They might put an iron in the freezer or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl. Then they can’t find these things later.
• Changes in mood. Everyone is moody at times, but people who have dementia may have fast mood swings, going from calm to tears to anger in a few minutes.
  Personality changes. People who have dementia may have drastic changes in personality. They might become irritable, suspicious or fearful
• Loss of initiative. People who have dementia may become passive. They might not want to go places or see other people.”

Dementia is caused by change or destruction of brain cells. Often this change is a result of small strokes or blockage of blood cells, severe hypothyroidism or Alzheimer’s disease. There is a continuous decline in ability to perform normal daily activities. Personal care including dressing, bathing, preparing meals and even eating a meal eventually becomes impossible.

What can family members do if they suspect dementia? An appointment with the doctor or geriatric clinic is the first step to take. Depending on the cause and severity of the problem there are some medications that may help slow the process.  In the beginning they may need only a little help with remembering to do daily activities or prepare meals. As dementia progresses, caregiving demands often progress to 24 hour care. Night and day become confused and normal routines of sleeping, eating and functioning become more difficult for the patient. The demented person feels frustrated and may lash out in anger or fear. It is not uncommon for a child or spouse giving the care to quickly become overwhelmed and discouraged.  

Because people with short term memory loss lose their sense of safety, much like a two year old, you should plan on 24 hour supervision.  It isn’t just the risk that they may wonder it’s that they forget to eat, how to set the proper temperature or even put metal in the microwave.  It is a big tasks for a spouse or child to take on without help.  You may need to utilize the assistance of a homecare agency, adult day care, assisted living or memory care unit in a nursing home.  

Family gatherings provide an excellent opportunity to discuss caregiving plans and whole family support. It is most helpful if everyone in the family is united in supporting a family caregiver in some meaningful way.  Having a plan will keep you from having to react from a crisis.  Allow Aging Avenues to assist you plan for future care needs and how to pay for it.

Which sounds better? Let’s go, Dad. We need to get you dressed for day care. Or Hey, Dad let’s get you ready. The guys at the club are waiting!

If your Alzheimer’s afflicted dad is dragging his feet about going to adult day services and you need to get to work, which do you think would be more effective? It’s pretty obvious that the more respectful, dignified question would get the best response.

Whether called adult day services, adult day care, the club or volunteer work,- whatever seems right for the sake of the specific elder – these services have been a well-kept secret for years. Far too many people don’t realize they have this care option.

Just for the record, I try to stay away from the day care term, because there is a certain stigma of childhood that goes with it. I am a proponent of treating elders with dignity – no matter how child like they may have become. So, I prefer the term adult day services. Variable terminology aside, adult day services can be extremely helpful. When an elder is in the earlier stages of Alzheimer’s, probably able to live at home with some care, but at risk for wandering or leaving a stove turned on if left alone for long periods, adult day services can be a life saver, literally.

Many people will try in-home care for awhile. They will hire an agency to bathe and dress the elder, but then what? What does the elder do all day? Day services can be a good option, at least a few days a week, as the elder gets out and is able to socialize with peers.

In cases where one spouse is healthy but can’t care for the other spouse day and night, or when the well spouse just needs time off, day services can be an option. It can also work well if the elder with Alzheimer’s disease lives with adult children. In most homes, both adults must work. Often there are children of varying ages involved, as well. When everyone must go to school or work, who looks after the elder? Day services can fill the gap.

Many adult services have a handicapped accessible bus that will pick up the elder. There should be someone on the bus trained to work with the elder and who can become a familiar face. Other times, you may have to drop the elder off, or maybe that just works better for your elder. Generally there are choices. Day services provide social stimulation for the elder, as well as activities and safety. Many have a nurse on call or on the premises, to administer medications.

By Carol Bradley Bursack

To learn more about Adult Day Services in Indianapolis and to locate the best providers for your loved one visit Aging Avenues.com or call 317-731-3315.